blog off
sober as a judge:
As part of an intensive study in the way that alchohol affects the minds of America's youth Kyle Eidsness and I are undergoing a drunken adventure. First we have each purchased a 12 pack of an aptly shitty beer (natty light) and after we consume each one we will update our blogs until the 12 are down. To track kyle's personal adventure check out kizyle.blogspot.com.
after a beer:
I wish I could beatbox, like legitmatly not just make random bass drum stuff. It's one of those things though that you look like a jackass practicing, oh well. so for the first beer we watched scrubs "kick him in the crotch and run" so here's a suggestion on a scrubs drinking game.
Any time Cox crosses his arms - drink
Any time Carla tells someone off - drink
Any time JD wanders into his own head - drink
this one goes out to my homey Joe who has become a vail ski bum, boom ba chick chicka boom boom chick ski bummin' ba chick whip whip splash
another beer bites the dust:
After a wandering of snu I get this impression no one trusts anyone virtually every door is locked. also our house is a shithole I mean some one should clean it up, of course by suggesting it it should probably be me but I have more important things to do like worry about coherrency as I get drunker. Still not drunk but I did have to take my first piss which I blame on the powerade earlier not the beer. But the piss was awesome not in the holding it on a car ride awesome but just relief awesome. Starr has also joined are escapade but he isn't cool enough to blog it, the biatch. so for 7:40 I'm signing off till the next beer hits the system.
16 minutes later...
thoughts scattered all across the grey matter, inspiration for this shit is fucking hard to find words come slow nothing like premature ejaculation. I hope Kyle brings a beer from his fridge for me otherwise he will die when we backpack. Shit probaly shoudn't have mentioned that on the internet if anything it's drew's fault. oh and for the record last beer was killed on a drinking game in which I won or lost or who cares competetions a bitch. I'm spent
when all else fails:
after an intense disscussion of your ideal three band concert I've come to this I wish I could have seen nirvana, sublime and The Who. with nirvana the headliner of course, I need to see kurt on stage and Dave too since he is my personal her. That said the next beer needs to be more of an adventure I am getting kind of antsy in the house which does not bode well for the attitude later, something might get broken tonight I hope it's not a collar bone cause I like mine too much. stream of conscious is fun it's like thinking only thinking others can read. heading to piss number two I have the bladder of an infant.
wow it's nine..
so when we last left our hero he was heading for the urinal with a vengance this eventually ended in an attic exploring trip in which I realized Alex Rasnavad is an organized nerd and got ripped apart on his modern mexico paper, john moore still has stuff here and Mo has a huge stein as a paddle. you'd think all these relizaions would be enough for one beer but no it increased exponentially when we read the ramblings of Tucker max who I now know is a bigger asshoile then me which makes me feel better about my life. I mean its hard to find meaning in a "shallow asshole's" existence. the aadventure continues next with a one on one one one beer pong tourney in which I should kick starr's ass but eidsness might beat me and if he does expect a rant on how I will evicerate his family, off to more beer.
so beer pong didn't happen...
instead we toasted things including spring break union avenue and others too deep to be mentioned in this swarthy internet outflowing of words. so I keep writing this stuff and now I am starting to get a tad drunk so from here on out should be increasingly entertaining. I just had a spitting contest with kyle out the window of the third floor bathroom in which we tied over the damn porch kyle's back bitches so I hate you.
hey beer pong happened...
in a surprise appearance peter rice appeared and we played a 6 on 6 cup game in which Kyle deserved credit cause he did not miss a cup of course I finished it off with a last cup flourish. so as of now I am winning in life and happy about it that game flew by we had a great come back. and also I haven't said this online yet but how in the hell did Red sox win the world series that was weird. next up is something that could be entertaining or it could suck but fuck it I'm drunk.
so toasts happened...
and I took another piss and it ruled. note to self celebrity look alikes can earn money and take their share of the process. so I need to find a celebrity I look like or just become a celebrity. hmm that could work better so now we are leaving the house to play campus golf its time to test my drunken golf ability. I gave a toast about how it is fun to piss outside and for all the males drink to that. I am moving forward.
attack of the midgets...
so let's say you are alone in a collesion and a bunch a midgets are attacking you how many ld you take Rice thinks he could take a hundrted and now kyle's whining so I have to go but I must mention in this post that after the last post I have gone to get some marijuana then smoke some mary jane and now am currently going to continue this drinking so obviously fuck kyle.
one by one bitches piss...
so the whole last beer I needed to piss and that is possibly the worst feelining ever. I hate my bladder right now. but the relief came in the form of my first urinal piss of the night of the night. no aiming involved just consentration on the happiness of releiving a pressure. Starr will die at campus golf he has no idea his achilles tendon will experience pain such as never felt before. anyway onto cheerier subjects damn it feels good to be a gangster even if it is a nerdy gangster who rolls on the blog hype and gives stupid ideas about the encouraging aspects of alchohol induced ramblings. the drunk and guilty phase has started so after the first of the double digits I akniwlede that I'm drunk and if things continue things could become better than forseen. if you are staying with the story still or even just starting I hope you jack off into a tin can and eat it haha.
nothing less...
so weird news my nose hurts as it got assaulted by a soccer ball as of thursday, but the weirdest part is it hasn't hurt since then. So the assumption is that alchohol makes you feel past injury or its all in my head and I am going crazy. so 11 beers not as hard as you think still at three pisse for those of you counting at home and as much as my ideas were to get out of the house we all pissed on that idea and have stayed her but now hopefully we will head out on a bike ride if by the time you read this I have an RUI I still appreciate the fandom. and kyle sucks he lost a beer blog who does that? so know instead of chronicling what I think I am just gonna rewind on you bitches and watch the new star wars trailer which is so nerdy but like this isn't phuck he he keep it the same as you've rolled since time began I exit stage left.
in between beers..
in case kyle did insult me he flosses his teeth with pubic hair, off to bike ride.
12 I thought you ment a lot...
so it turns out I am an alchoholic and 12 beers just wasn't enoughso Kyle and I decided to hit up bikes as the new alternative transportation type. also for those counting the pisses at home I had onne more after the last beer which brings it to a grand total of four unless I miscounted and fucked it all up. but back to the bike ride it turns out safeway isn't far so we decided drunk or not we should get more and now I have six more meers lying in front of my practically taunting so I will conquer them and their remaining domains and move on ti blacked out at a sharper pace and yeah for weed for keeping my story fresh.
Another piss...
this is becoming ridiculous I mean how many times can a guy piss before he realizes he is drunk. so I'm a little out of breathe I ran from the basement to here and it turns out that four flights of stairs is about the limit I can reach before breathing heavy. and since thirteen is the most unlucky number at all ( even though it was my soccer number in High school) I shall continue to reach the apex of drunken internalization, in other words I head for 14.
Security is the bain of any man's existence...
let's say its spring break and you have no hostile intentions towards any man or human being in general should you be attacked by security as thieves or crooks no we had to make quick exits all because secrity doesn't understand nostalgia so now I am back with the same damn keyboard tryin to understand what just happened. oh well that security guard hates me we had a good conversation after the crane incident and he still remains number one on my biggest douche list.
my biggest mistake...
well it was definetly losing the shoes the bathromm floor for my most recent piss was extremely cold and now I am not happy. but I have three more beers left so I guess comedy and securoty should step in and make this entertaining. we intend to watch garden state I hope I make it through because that is the best movie ever, bit I am wased and as suh I may not make it but I resolve in my heart to make a blog about how asleep kyle is and how he is a weinerless bitch who couldn't follow a segment if he had a rabbit to guide him so off to garden state and resilience.
so only the firrst half was finished...
and the desicion was mde that bed time should commence so this will be my last post of the evening or at this point early morning I have lost my water bottle my pride and my ability to fel a normal temperature the only thing I look forward to its hobnob it the morning so until I eat again this experiment is over I pass out know.
As part of an intensive study in the way that alchohol affects the minds of America's youth Kyle Eidsness and I are undergoing a drunken adventure. First we have each purchased a 12 pack of an aptly shitty beer (natty light) and after we consume each one we will update our blogs until the 12 are down. To track kyle's personal adventure check out kizyle.blogspot.com.
after a beer:
I wish I could beatbox, like legitmatly not just make random bass drum stuff. It's one of those things though that you look like a jackass practicing, oh well. so for the first beer we watched scrubs "kick him in the crotch and run" so here's a suggestion on a scrubs drinking game.
Any time Cox crosses his arms - drink
Any time Carla tells someone off - drink
Any time JD wanders into his own head - drink
this one goes out to my homey Joe who has become a vail ski bum, boom ba chick chicka boom boom chick ski bummin' ba chick whip whip splash
another beer bites the dust:
After a wandering of snu I get this impression no one trusts anyone virtually every door is locked. also our house is a shithole I mean some one should clean it up, of course by suggesting it it should probably be me but I have more important things to do like worry about coherrency as I get drunker. Still not drunk but I did have to take my first piss which I blame on the powerade earlier not the beer. But the piss was awesome not in the holding it on a car ride awesome but just relief awesome. Starr has also joined are escapade but he isn't cool enough to blog it, the biatch. so for 7:40 I'm signing off till the next beer hits the system.
16 minutes later...
thoughts scattered all across the grey matter, inspiration for this shit is fucking hard to find words come slow nothing like premature ejaculation. I hope Kyle brings a beer from his fridge for me otherwise he will die when we backpack. Shit probaly shoudn't have mentioned that on the internet if anything it's drew's fault. oh and for the record last beer was killed on a drinking game in which I won or lost or who cares competetions a bitch. I'm spent
when all else fails:
after an intense disscussion of your ideal three band concert I've come to this I wish I could have seen nirvana, sublime and The Who. with nirvana the headliner of course, I need to see kurt on stage and Dave too since he is my personal her. That said the next beer needs to be more of an adventure I am getting kind of antsy in the house which does not bode well for the attitude later, something might get broken tonight I hope it's not a collar bone cause I like mine too much. stream of conscious is fun it's like thinking only thinking others can read. heading to piss number two I have the bladder of an infant.
wow it's nine..
so when we last left our hero he was heading for the urinal with a vengance this eventually ended in an attic exploring trip in which I realized Alex Rasnavad is an organized nerd and got ripped apart on his modern mexico paper, john moore still has stuff here and Mo has a huge stein as a paddle. you'd think all these relizaions would be enough for one beer but no it increased exponentially when we read the ramblings of Tucker max who I now know is a bigger asshoile then me which makes me feel better about my life. I mean its hard to find meaning in a "shallow asshole's" existence. the aadventure continues next with a one on one one one beer pong tourney in which I should kick starr's ass but eidsness might beat me and if he does expect a rant on how I will evicerate his family, off to more beer.
so beer pong didn't happen...
instead we toasted things including spring break union avenue and others too deep to be mentioned in this swarthy internet outflowing of words. so I keep writing this stuff and now I am starting to get a tad drunk so from here on out should be increasingly entertaining. I just had a spitting contest with kyle out the window of the third floor bathroom in which we tied over the damn porch kyle's back bitches so I hate you.
hey beer pong happened...
in a surprise appearance peter rice appeared and we played a 6 on 6 cup game in which Kyle deserved credit cause he did not miss a cup of course I finished it off with a last cup flourish. so as of now I am winning in life and happy about it that game flew by we had a great come back. and also I haven't said this online yet but how in the hell did Red sox win the world series that was weird. next up is something that could be entertaining or it could suck but fuck it I'm drunk.
so toasts happened...
and I took another piss and it ruled. note to self celebrity look alikes can earn money and take their share of the process. so I need to find a celebrity I look like or just become a celebrity. hmm that could work better so now we are leaving the house to play campus golf its time to test my drunken golf ability. I gave a toast about how it is fun to piss outside and for all the males drink to that. I am moving forward.
attack of the midgets...
so let's say you are alone in a collesion and a bunch a midgets are attacking you how many ld you take Rice thinks he could take a hundrted and now kyle's whining so I have to go but I must mention in this post that after the last post I have gone to get some marijuana then smoke some mary jane and now am currently going to continue this drinking so obviously fuck kyle.
one by one bitches piss...
so the whole last beer I needed to piss and that is possibly the worst feelining ever. I hate my bladder right now. but the relief came in the form of my first urinal piss of the night of the night. no aiming involved just consentration on the happiness of releiving a pressure. Starr will die at campus golf he has no idea his achilles tendon will experience pain such as never felt before. anyway onto cheerier subjects damn it feels good to be a gangster even if it is a nerdy gangster who rolls on the blog hype and gives stupid ideas about the encouraging aspects of alchohol induced ramblings. the drunk and guilty phase has started so after the first of the double digits I akniwlede that I'm drunk and if things continue things could become better than forseen. if you are staying with the story still or even just starting I hope you jack off into a tin can and eat it haha.
nothing less...
so weird news my nose hurts as it got assaulted by a soccer ball as of thursday, but the weirdest part is it hasn't hurt since then. So the assumption is that alchohol makes you feel past injury or its all in my head and I am going crazy. so 11 beers not as hard as you think still at three pisse for those of you counting at home and as much as my ideas were to get out of the house we all pissed on that idea and have stayed her but now hopefully we will head out on a bike ride if by the time you read this I have an RUI I still appreciate the fandom. and kyle sucks he lost a beer blog who does that? so know instead of chronicling what I think I am just gonna rewind on you bitches and watch the new star wars trailer which is so nerdy but like this isn't phuck he he keep it the same as you've rolled since time began I exit stage left.
in between beers..
in case kyle did insult me he flosses his teeth with pubic hair, off to bike ride.
12 I thought you ment a lot...
so it turns out I am an alchoholic and 12 beers just wasn't enoughso Kyle and I decided to hit up bikes as the new alternative transportation type. also for those counting the pisses at home I had onne more after the last beer which brings it to a grand total of four unless I miscounted and fucked it all up. but back to the bike ride it turns out safeway isn't far so we decided drunk or not we should get more and now I have six more meers lying in front of my practically taunting so I will conquer them and their remaining domains and move on ti blacked out at a sharper pace and yeah for weed for keeping my story fresh.
Another piss...
this is becoming ridiculous I mean how many times can a guy piss before he realizes he is drunk. so I'm a little out of breathe I ran from the basement to here and it turns out that four flights of stairs is about the limit I can reach before breathing heavy. and since thirteen is the most unlucky number at all ( even though it was my soccer number in High school) I shall continue to reach the apex of drunken internalization, in other words I head for 14.
Security is the bain of any man's existence...
let's say its spring break and you have no hostile intentions towards any man or human being in general should you be attacked by security as thieves or crooks no we had to make quick exits all because secrity doesn't understand nostalgia so now I am back with the same damn keyboard tryin to understand what just happened. oh well that security guard hates me we had a good conversation after the crane incident and he still remains number one on my biggest douche list.
my biggest mistake...
well it was definetly losing the shoes the bathromm floor for my most recent piss was extremely cold and now I am not happy. but I have three more beers left so I guess comedy and securoty should step in and make this entertaining. we intend to watch garden state I hope I make it through because that is the best movie ever, bit I am wased and as suh I may not make it but I resolve in my heart to make a blog about how asleep kyle is and how he is a weinerless bitch who couldn't follow a segment if he had a rabbit to guide him so off to garden state and resilience.
so only the firrst half was finished...
and the desicion was mde that bed time should commence so this will be my last post of the evening or at this point early morning I have lost my water bottle my pride and my ability to fel a normal temperature the only thing I look forward to its hobnob it the morning so until I eat again this experiment is over I pass out know.
posted by matty at 6:23 PM
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